Time Flies...

Time flies...

When busyness sets in.

"Flying..."

time passed fast recently...
maybe thats because...
i gave up thinking...
about stuffs and look forward in life.
Now that i remember this trick...
I shall used it when...
i feel low.

"Passed."
Chinese new year passed...
assignments have all been cleared too.
In a blink of an eye...
Huat for me...
huat for everyone.

"Gong xi Gong xi."
Chinese new year suppose to be 15 days?
I got 2 instead.
Made full of those 2 days...
spending them with my huge family...
before the mega project comes into hand.

"Studio Project."
3 days of Studio project have already passed.
less than 2 more weeks to go...
we gonna try hard... gonna try big...
Hope everything gonna be alright.
Smooth and steady.
I would be in-charge of the meteorite vfx in the short clip.
Wei xun would be in-charge of water vfx
Melvin would be in-charge of sky and clouds vfx
Voon fong would be in-charge of the ground and debris vfx.
I'm kind of ahead of time...
But theres unlimited work to do...
just run for this 2 weeks.

Crushed...

Do you even think when you're all alone...

"Broken."
How does it feel?
To be broken and crushed.
I pity all the vast...
thats broken before.
I can feel that they...
don't really want to be mended up again.
Afraid of the...
feeling...
thats unbearable.

"Before and After."
I shouldn't have went for her...
she doesn't deserve me...
I feel so god damn wrong...
for getting closer.
Everything around us...
had made worst on us.
Although I've made all my moves...
shes could just stand there...
behind the close doors...
and i couldn't get in.
No matter how much that i did.
Not a slightest chance through that closed door.
Not a slightest room for advance.

"What i really Want."
I hope i could really be with her.
Someone to be side by side.
To be understanding...
To be faithful...
To be everything...
For the other.


"Understanding."
Whats wrong with understanding?
When thats what i'm really missing...
Do you know you're moving like chess piece?
Theres no way i could move forward...
when you're just defensive.

SHE said: "tats wad u feel. nt me..hmm hard to explain la"
 "coz u don knw me well i wld asy"
*say


yea... what if thats how i feel?
Are you gonna tell me how you feel?
Or do i have to travel to the moon and ask you?
Do you even bother telling me how you felt?
Why do you have to hold back?


"Mind Reading"
I love to read my friends...
they're easy and fun to understand.
But reading her mind...
is just a totally different thing.
I cant even get through the maze.
And in the end...
I'll get lost... big time.

For example...
I had asked her a couple of questions...
trying to chat with her.
But all the answers... they meant something indirectly...
they are...
1: short, which means...
she doesn't want to talk to me for long.
2: non-informative, which means
she doesn't want me to know much...
so i couldn't reply much
so i had to keep changing topics.
3: direct, which means
i couldn't comment much about it...
all i can say is "ok" or "oh..."
4: slow, which means
she don't even bother to talk to me.

worst of all...
she doesn't even ask about me.

i should deduce that shes either...
busy or trying to avoid me.

"Apologized."
I've apologized to her...
for everything that i did wrong.
In my heart...
theres so many wrong doings.
But for all those that rises these upcome...
It totally hit me... hard.
It's like losing everything in one wrong move.

"Future?"
Tell me...
What is there between us in future?
No? Yes?
It's hard to tell...
But for now...
For her sake...
Maybe i should avoid her all i can...
I hope it will help.

The Walk Of Life.

Life is just ain't perfect.

"It seems overrated."
Whats happening to me?
Can someone tell me?
Piece of advice at least?
Everything seems going off track.
Everything seems falling out of place.

"Questions."
Tell me what to do...
When all i want is to be with you.
Tell me what you want...
What do you really want?
Tell me whats happening...
to you and me?

"The Retreat..."
I tried...
my best to be the best for you.
I want...
myself to be near you.
What i got is just the chill...
that shivers me still.
Now that theres 2 opposing force...
from you and you alone.

"Standing my ground"
Your chilling touch and your everything else...
it's just so evenly strong.
I had to stand my ground...
under your hot and coldness.
It's not so easy...
to be me.
What can i do...
to take away your coldness far far away...
and be back with you?
I want to run away...
but your coldness fades away.
If i just give up...
everything will just shatter apart.
I can't really possibly...
stand up to anyone.
It just seems so hard...
all i wish things would be better.

"Meditating"
I just hate to be emotional...
so i replaced the words to be a little better.
And seriously i hate to be emos.
Like as if i want it to be this way...
But the feeling just engulfed me to it's fullest.
All i have is a over powered heart and a useless mind.
Full of feelings and couldn't think of any solutions.
Empty brain that thinks about unnecessary stuffs like love.
It just filled it up to the brim...
leaving no space for great solutions.
Thats why i ought to be busy.
Trying to kill myself with busyness.
So that i could not think of love anymore.

"Greener Grass"
If you could just treat me...
like the person who i knew over the net.
The way u talked to me nightly...
it just ain't the same upfront.
Why is that so...
why do you have to freeze me alone.
Making me smile back,
as if i really do to nothing.
Do you have to say "it's nothing"...
even if i miss heard what you said?
Maybe everybody else are aware of us?
Are they mocking you?...
even when i made the slightest movement.
If it's that so...
i ought to move away silently...

Unfocused Lights

Theres nothing that would 

stay stationary even theres life or not- 

Trees move

and Lights bend.

"Life in a studio, Life under the lights, Life of loving beauty"
Seeing the other lights go off.
There left a shiny little spot light.
Although shes a little one...
she cast the purest dark shadow...
off anyone that crossed its path.

"Importance of lights"
I would say that the shadow resembles
the importance of  person is, to her life.
If the one comes nearer to her,
the shadow becomes bigger and thus
becoming more important to herself...
and of cause... the other way round.

"Dancing with lights"
There might be complications...
and what if you're in love with her?
And you want to be the largest shadow she could ever cast?
What if you want to dance with her?

"Complications"
Theres so much i could do...
but i couldn't understand her.
Is there something wrong with me?
Or somebody else?
When theres something wrong with you...
I had the blame onto myself.
maybe i was right on being wrong at least.

"Lights decay?"
theres a feeling of giving up...
but wheres the faith?
All the ignorance...
all the hot and cold feeling in different places.
It must be the distance.

"Black hole"
I promised myself of not falling into it again...
Which comes the presence of my ring...
Where i wore around my neck.
It does remind me of how i got injure the other time...
but it goes weaker every now and then.